CBS Gore Squad Elite investigators uncover a different child murder every week.
WTF Unknown Mysteries: The Real Facts Exciting re-enactments of events that never happened.
XXX Movie: Satanic Rites of Lesbula (Erotic Horror)
CBC Chung’s Beat An Asian-Canadian detective and her Aboriginal partner solve crimes in Vancouver’s underworld.
MOV Love Is Flying High (1933) A nightclub singer and a test pilot find romance in the Great Depression (B&W)
KID The Magic of Rainbow Friendships
TSN Hockey: Aliens vs. Predators
MTV Auto-Tune Countdown Fake music by fake musicians
FOX Barack Obama: The Real Story Special report on the US president’s untold allegiance to Beelzebub
ZZZ American Idlers Reality series about intense rivalries among people sitting around watching TV
KID Wishes, Dreams, and Princesses
NBC Slaughter Division Special agents analyze a different school massacre every week.
TSN Basketball Drones vs. Insurgents
HBO The F-Word Gritty cast of eccentrics and their writers take advantage of cable content regulations.
MOV My Country, ‘Tis of Thee (1943) A soldier and a nurse find love during World War II (B&W)
PBS Bill Moyers Presents The veteran journalist hosts a symposium on why all of America, except for PBS donors, sucks.
XXX Movie: May It Please the Court (Erotic Crime)
KID Fairytale Mermaids in Unicorn Land
WTF Unsolved Bible Suppositions Was Jeremiah a bullfrog?
CBC The Adventures of Jane Finch Laughter and love among a Jamaican-Canadian family
CNN Attractive Anchors All the latest news, delivered by vapid ex-models
TSN UFC: Kramer vs. Kramer
AHA At Home With the Vulgars (animated series)
MAD Abbatoir Makeover
ABC Code Extreme Red Intelligence operatives prevent a terrorist attack every week
HBO Transgender Biker Crack Addicts Hard-hitting tales of real people. Tonight: Grandma fellates the gang
MOV My Name Is Hate (1972) A hippie and a Vietnam vet go on a killing spree.
TSN Football Anabolics at Roid Ragers
ZZZ Secrets of Hitler’s Moustache Forensic scientists uncover the truth behind the Nazi dictator’s facial hair
NBC All-Star Salute to the Dead Kennedys Legendary punk group paid tribute by Travis Tritt, Alicia Keys, Johnny Depp, Katy Perry, others. Host: Ellen DeGeneres
CNN Bread & Circuses Uplifting stories to divert proletarian rage
T&A Beach Volleyball: Thongs vs. Bikinis
YUM Eat It With Wilma Fingerdoo Cooking tips you will never use
FTW The Plastics Typical suburban family. Tonight: Ashley overhears Carter on Skype with Brooke, texts Courtney and posts on Mackenzie’s Facebook
WTF Haunted Legends of True Ghosts Psychic researchers explore made-up bullshit
KID Enchanted Kingdom of Product Placement
CBC Harry Krishna’s Hat Trick Indo-Canadian hockey player juggles home and career
MOV Metalheads (1987) A pair of teenagers develop the ability to turn into robots
BLA You Make Me Sick Positive family therapy with Dr. Ted Asol
CCR Sharks: Scary Fish That Are Fun To Watch Attack People
XXX Movie: Phil Laysho, Outlaw (Erotic Western)
TSN Hockey NY Concussion at LA Felony
CBS Hollywood Alarmist Unit Greedy TV producers exploit public anxiety
NFG Just Us Girls B-level celebrities gossiping
NEW No Holds Barred Political journalists gossiping
NAT Natural Wonders of the Great Outdoors Now in HD (Close-captioned)
UGH Me and My Colostomy